"1st Gathering Under The Tree"

This is a questionaire that came from a woman in Australia, Carley, the woman who wrote the girls names in the sand. This is a little thing she started for angel mommy's, it's a list of things done once a month.... "How long have you been blogging for? Why did you start? What do you want from writing? I started a family website shortly after losing my daughters, Kiersten & Brooklyn, I would say approx. November 2007. I did that for a while, and then learned of blogs through another angel baby mama, Laura, so I have probably been blogging for...6 months. I started the website, to keep family updated on what we were up to, and things we were doing in memory of our daughters. I don't really pour my heart out on the blog, I save the real hard stuff for my journal. I just want family and friends to have a general idea of what my family is up to. Where is safest place for you to share your feelings? Is there anywhere you feel completely accepted just being however you are really feeling?One of the safest places I feel for me to share my feelings is at the H.U.G.S. meetings.... everyone "gets it" all the crazy feelings I have. Can you recommend any books that you have read that have given you a new insight, hope or courage in this new life you find yourself in?There is a true journal book, I think its called Journeys: Pregnancy after loss, it gives me hope. How would you describe yourself before you lost your baby. How have you changed, who are you today?Naive to a complete other world filled with heartache which I never knew existed. I have changed in SO many ways... I view everything completely differently, the love I have for life and the people in it is SO much stronger. I now understand the reality of life and don't ever take it for granted. I don't worry about the little things, I don't waste energy on things that don't matter. I cry easier, songs, words, or people's simple acts of kindness. I am more paranoid about Drew, Kevin and this baby though. How do you think you are coping? Do you see any light in this road or is it all dark right now? Where do you imagine yourself to be in a years time? I am coping well. I greived really hard those first 13 months, I have never felt so much pain, and cried so many tears - life was like a rollercoaster of grief, not knowing when another hill would come. I saw a counselor from month 5-13 after losing the girls, attend a monthly support group meeting and occasionally meet up with some LAMBS members. Not only do I have a wonderful supportive husband, but caring people, and friends I have made since losing the girls is the best gift I have received. I know this road of grief will be a life long road, but I can say while I ache everyday for my daughters, the pain is less and the rollercoaster rides are much calmer and less frequent. A year from now I will still be on this road, a little more healed, more educated, hopefully helping other new victims of infant loss... and hopefully looking down at my new miracle and being grateful and feeling fullfilled.